Back to December
by The Moon and Shooting Stars
Summary: "your guard is up and i know why, because the last time you saw me is still burned in the back of your mind. you gave me roses and i left them there to die."


I don't own the song back to December, or anything by Taylor swift, and I don't own Harry Potter even though I wish I did. Warning: slash (sorta)

_I'm so glad you made time to see me.  
How's life, tell me how's your family?  
I haven't seen them in a while.  
You've been good, busier then ever.  
We small talk, work and the weather  
your guard is up and I know why._

Yeah I know why it's awkward to see one another so soon, with everything left between us, left behind. I didn't mean to, I got scared. "How's life? Tell me how's your family?" I ask this quietly, I loved your family, to everyone else they appeared cold and evil but to me, other then you, they were the only family I ever had. Call me a coward, call me a jerk I don't care just _take me back_.

_Cause the last time you saw me  
Is still burned in the back of your mind.  
You gave me roses and I left them there to die._

I'm sorry, words will never describe how sorry I am that I allowed my overworked mind to ruin the only good thing I'll ever miss. You're the only one who knew me on that level, why didn't you talk me out of it? You have a million times before…

_So this is me swallowing my pride,  
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night,  
And I go back to December all the time.  
Turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you,  
Wishing that I realized what I had when you were mine.  
I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right.  
I go back to December all the time_

Do you hear me? I'm falling apart months after I did this to both of us. What is wrong with me? It hurts to see you, even though you aren't dating anyone it still hurts. This is me saying I'm wrong, I messed up, I love you, I'm sorry. _I need you._

_These days I haven't been sleeping  
Staying up playing back myself leaving,  
When your birthday passed and I didn't call.  
And I think about summer, all the beautiful times  
I watched you laughing from the passenger side  
Realized that I loved you in the fall.  
Then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind.  
You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye. _

I'm staying up late, thinking about all those times we spent together just looking at the stars. I'm not "free" and I'm certainly not single. I spend my days wishing you were mine again and my night's missing you and wishing I could take it back.

_So this is me swallowing my pride,  
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night.  
And I go back to December all the time.  
Turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you,  
Wishing that I realized what I had when you were mine.  
I'd go back to December turn around and change my own mind.  
I go back to December all the time_

I don't know why I have to go back to that night but I always do and I wish I could change it. If I had a time turner I'd stop myself from saying it. I'd be with you we'd be happy, we'd still be in love.

_I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile, so good to me, so right,  
And how you held me in your arms that September night,  
The first time you ever saw me cry.  
Maybe this is wishful thinking,  
Probably mindless dreaming  
If we loved again I swear I'd love you right._

Ok, so you weren't really tanned more like burned, but I always found it cute. I think about that time after the battle, when I realized everyone I loved but you were really gone, completely, forever. Yes, Hermione and Ron are still here but Hermione left for Australia to get her parents barely hours after the final battle ended, but Ron, he never even apologized. We never forgave him because it really was just one betrayal to many from him we risked our lives for him and he leaves because it wasn't much of an adventure or there wasn't enough food. He's the one shoveling it in. Hermione and I were nearly starving but he didn't care. I thought of you that whole time we were out there.

_I'd go back in time and change it but I can't  
So if the chain is on your door, I understand_

I miss you. I want you back and I'm sorry, if it's too late I'll understand.

_But this is me swallowing my pride,  
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night,  
And I go back to December.  
Turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you,  
Wishing that I realized what I had when you were mine.  
I'd go back to December turn around and make it alright.  
I'd go back to December turn around and change my own mind.  
I go back to December all the time_.

Baby, I'm sorry I'll always remember the times we shared, even back when we were enemies. I'll swallow my pride and grovel if it would convince you I need you more than the air I breathe. I'll always go back to that night and wish I could've stopped myself from ever thinking that.


End file.
